I know lots of women relate to this one and I wanted to share my story around visibility fears in the hope that it can help someone else out there. It’s only in the last year that I have actually made progress on this and I still have a way to go.
I was the overweight teen who was the target for the school bullies. I tried to hide behind my glasses and my weight. Out of sight out of mind as they say. I described myself as a wallflower. The quiet one. The introvert. I was always made to feel I had nothing good to say by my ‘friends’ and so didn’t speak much at all. I hated drawing attention to myself because I had such low self worth and believed I had nothing worth saying. I would often hide in the toilets to eat my lunch so that I wouldn’t be judged and picked on more due to my weight.
To add that I experienced chronic long term abuse and it was safer for me to be ‘invisible’ hide from them. Stay out of their sight and out of their way.
What beliefs did this give me?
1. Being visible is dangerous, risky, harmful.
2. Being invisible is SAFER.
3. No one is interested in what you have to say.
4. A fear of being judged (this is a super common underlying fear for my clients with visibility issues).
On a lighter note, my amazing grandfathers favourite saying used to be ‘little girls should be seen and not heard’. I absolutely love my grandfather and he is the reason I am where I am today and his comment was made with no malice whatsoever, but it instilled this deep belief: I shouldn’t ‘speak out’ and I shouldn’t be ‘heard’.
It’s only more recently that I have stopped describing myself as an introvert. I often tell people how I don’t like to be the centre of attention – but that just reinforces old stories and living by old beliefs.
It took me a year of practice and forcing myself to do live videos for me to overcome the visibility fears I had, and I still don’t feel comfortable. It doesn’t come naturally to me. And I don’t do them consistently enough.
I notice whenever I start to get busy I shy away from doing lives. I go into hiding mode. I still only do them in my private group. I rarely ever do them on my business page.
But yet I’ve still managed to significantly grow my business this last year even by making just a little progress in this area.
I shared my story in 2 number 1 bestselling books
I shared story in national and local papers.
Started doing live videos & challenges
Started filming workshops for my members club
After having hypnotherapy my visibility fears started to reduce more. Very soon I felt more confident contributing live expert content for other coaches groups and even did a live webinar for my Success Accelerator launch (which had incredible feedback!). I was even approached to do corporate presentations. Bit by bit my confidence grew.
My tips for overcoming visibility fears:
1. Say ‘YES’ to everything that scares you, and figure out how to do it later. Remember, if it scares you, huge success is on the other side!
2. Remember your reason and the people you want to impact. They need you to stop playing small and be more visible to get your message out in the world. It’s not just your soul purpose and the way you serve more people, its for your family too. My son is one of my biggest motivators.
3. Stop worrying what people will think- the ones that matter will love you for everything you do and all the value you give. The ones that don’t matter are not your ideal client anyway?
4. Just start. Start small. Practice in a private group that feels like a safer space first until you build more confidence around it. Just get that first one out of the way. Soon enough it will become your new normal.
I recently did a ‘visibility queen’ work with one of my clients and absolutely loved it when I saw her do her first Facebook live not long afterwards. I dedicate a whole module to this on my Success Accelerator Course.
In sharing this I hope you realise that you are not alone if you struggle with this in your business, and perhaps my own insights into the roots of my visibility issues can give you some insight into yours too.
If you want to explore having 1:1 Success Transformation work to overcome your visibility fears, you can find out more and book in HERE.
Love Natasha x